The Cobblers Unisex T-Shirt

Description

The structured fit and double-stitched seams are as sharp as your internal monologue, and the tubular fabric leaves just enough room for both romantic yearning and baked beans.

• 100% cotton (just like your nana’s opinions)

• Sport Grey: 90% cotton, 10% polyester (for when you’re sad and sweaty)

• Heather shades: 50/50 blend of fibre and regret

• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² — heavier than your emotional baggage

• Tubular fabric, taped neck and shoulders — built for durability and disillusionment

• Blank product sourced from various far-off lands (more travelled than you)

This shirt is made especially for you, just like that feeling of unreciprocated affection that never quite goes away. Because we make products on demand, they take a little longer — but so do all good things, like emotional growth or getting over your ex.

⚠️ Official Compliance Statement (because we must):

• Age restrictions: For adults

• EU Warranty: 2 years

• Flammability, lead, cadmium, phthalates and formaldehyde compliant — despite how emotionally volatile you may be.

Unhinged Merchandise and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure this product meets all GPSR safety standards. For questions or to send us poetry, email gpsr@sindenventures.com or write to Unhinged Records, PO Box 7169, Poole, BH15 9EL — we will read your letter in a monotone voice with sad piano playing behind us.